i hate doctors

ok, so this claim is backed up by more than the fact i just finished dating one. (never again.) here goes...

me living in my "efficient" world amidst people with some capacity for intelligence led me to believe i could be "efficient" when it came to scoring my travel meds. so i put off the adventure until the last minute. how difficult can this be? schedule an appointment with the doc, take a little time off work, then throw a copay his way so he can scribble down a Rx for lariam and then direct his nurse to shoot me up with a hep A shot. or so i thought.

i arrive at the office of my "hippy doctor in berkeley" -- bear in mind this doctor actually called me on my cell phone to make sure i was not lost prior to my first visit with him a couple months ago. (should have been my first clue: you think he has a hard time retaining patients and doesn't want them to escape? hmm...this was before he warned me that ALL men cheat.) i show up, do the copay thing, get directed to a room, and then i wait. and wait. and wait. i hear him yelling on the phone outside my door regarding some lawsuit he's involved in. then 45 minutes after my scheduled appointment, the doc proceeds to start his consultation with a patient who got there before me. great. do i get to bill for this shit? me sitting around that office all day means i get to spend all evening at work. uh, no. so i get a little impatient. i ask the nurse if she can just get him to write down that Rx and then take care of the shot (easy!) and i'd be out of their hair. no go. the doc wants to see me. so i wait. an hour after my scheduled appointment, the doctor walks in and tells me he wants to see my lab. i'm like, huh? he said, you never got your lab results done like i asked you to last time, and i'm not prescribing anything until i see them. i tell him what i told him last time -- i got stuck on 100% travel for like a month and couldn't get in, and besides, my work takes care of labs for me every year. my last labs are still good, and he can check them out and see i'm perfectly healthy. now give me a shot, damn it. he argues. i argue back. he throws another lab form at me and says he won't prescribe anything until i get him the labs or fax him my other ones. asshole!!! this is not efficient!!! the next morning i opt to fax over my labs from work and say, here, check these out. i'm good. please send the Rx to longs drugs, and i'm coming in for my shot. he says no.

ok, so the gist of the story is, i go to longs and he ultimately called in an Rx for super-powered diarrhea pills, a diarrhea antibiotic, a general antibiotic, and a typhoid vaccine to apparently appease me. but where's the lariam?! i didn't ask for this other stuff! i call him back and he says, have you gotten a tetanus? what the?! JUST GIVE ME LARIAM AND A HEP A SHOT! I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!! he wants to know why i refuse to get a tetanus. he then says, VERBATIM, "gina, you are very polite and sweet, but you are also the most contentious patient i've had in twenty years. you are lucky i keep you as a patient because most doctors wouldn't fuck with you." WHAT?!!! did my doctor just say that to me? i end up complaining to my co-workers (well, they couldn't help but notice me screaming at a doctor over the phone in my cube and obviously got curious), and they say to go to a travel clinic, one block from the office. one phone call and the gal's like, sure, come on in. we'll get you a hep A shot, a tetanus shot, and hook you up with a Rx for lariam in one fell swoop. are you kidding? she doesn't even want my labs. hallelujah!

now for the funny part of this story. i actually started to think i was the crazy one here. turns out we had a fire drill at work and while we were waiting to head back into the building, i tell a co-worker this story because he asked about my travel meds -- he's done a lot of travel to bali. turns out this co-worker had the same doctor and had to fire him because he had problems with him, too, and highly recommended i report him. i am not crazy! sweet!