ho hum

things have been a little nuts since i've gotten back from france. i am moving back and forth between two futons (my sisters are the coolest ever, fyi), digging through a storage shed whenever i need to locate a key or a file or a...dare i say it...jacket, and working on shedding a lot of baggage, literally, like bad juju clothing, furniture, and miscellaneous items that simply make me feel icky. i've been holding onto them for no good reason, e.g., a wakeboard i haven't used since 2002. i am also working on minimizing my bills because i am entertaining a few (potentially costly) ideas that i will withhold for the time-being. and consequently, here is the big news: i sold mini for an outback. 1) i want lower car payments, and 2) i want to throw out into the universe, hint hint, that i am VERY serious about moving to colorado. i even passed on an incredible job back in oakland. speaking of icky, the thought of moving back to the bay area feels super icky, so i won't do it...again.

epiphanies abound. i realized that i have been working professionally for ten years now, and it's been hell. i hate what i do. i have been bouncing back and forth between jobs trying to find that niche, and i am so tired of it. engineering, simply, is not my calling, and i would say i gave it a pretty fair shot. so considering i have another 30-40 years of work left in me, i would rather jump off a bridge (sans bungee) than keep doing what i've been doing. therefore, i am planning a career transition. a big one. something in a completely different line of work, something more in line with my interests and soul. not sure what that is yet, but i am finding ideas that "speak to me." that excites me.

and on that note, it is cooling off in arizona. finally. the weather and sunsets are amazing. the energy is calming. the city is almost bearable.

biarritz

i love it here. must i go home?! just yesterday morning, i was surfing alone for 45 minutes...the entire beach to myself. the sky was pink, and in between sets the water became so calm it looked like a psychadelic shampoo, a viscous purple and pink mixture flowing past my arms as i paddled. it was amazing, like a dream come true. that would never happen in the states.

i have been here for the week, with another couple days to go. my studio is very cute. it already feels like home, tucked away in the middle of town and very convenient to everything. yesterday i rode bikes with jen and randy to bayonne, a larger town with a heavy basque influence. very, very french. biarritz is more regal and elegant, having been designed to impress the queen and napoleon.

the internet cafe is shutting down, so i must go!

bonjour!!!

ok...i do not have much time to write (and this keyboard is JACKED)...so quickly:

france rules. i am having a blast. it has been a whirlwind, as this is the first chance i have had to get online in a week. but the wedding and all the festivities leading up to the celebration have been absolutely amazing. a bachelorette party, i.e., pole-dancing, in cannes and bungee jumping in the alps!!! .yes, i jumped!!! magnificent, yet horrifying experience. the wedding itself was unreal.

off to aix-en-provence today, so must motor. a bientot!!!

maybe this one will go a little more...smoothly???

i am all packed and ready for france. woohoo!!! my flight leaves tomorrow morning. finally. vacation.

but of course, there were glitches. there are ALWAYS glitches in my travels, as many of you know.

#1: the cold. i went for a (rather messy) ride saturday morning. i missed the "window" and ended up with heat exhaustion, e.g., chills, clammy body parts, dehydration, nausea. i made it back to my car. wiped. then i watched my nephew play football for a couple hours in a mere 105 F. then i hung out in the sister's backyard. by 5pm, i was WAY wiped. i took a shower, got ready to chill on the sofa and eat a meal...and then i felt that weird, constricting feeling in my throat. that twitch. damn it! i got nailed. within 24 hours, i had the chills, hot flashes, sore muscles, a stuffy head...had to leave work early on monday and sleep all afternoon. however, today i have felt much better. i think i nailed it. (i am all over the neti pot.) the true test will come when i wake up in the morning.

#2: the burn. Mini's tailpipe burned the crap out of my leg! it's a nasty burn. i bought neosporin for it. i hope i don't end up in a french hospital.

#3: i have to pay my water bill within two weeks or i go to collections. the catch: i have no clue what my account number is because i never got the first bill for the condo...and all my mail is being flown all over the world, as far as i know. so i cannot pay online. and of course, the customer service phone line was busy for two days straight, which has never happened. fortunately, i called the emergency number and the dude got me through in the knick of time. check one.

#4: i found my DREAM JOB at the epa...right before i take off. the closing date is tonight at 11:59 pm. they could call at any time beginning tomorrow. i rented a global phone, just in case. but what if they want me to go to denver for an interview? that could be one expensive flight.

also, heads up! check the nanosolar.com website on 9/9. they are redesigning the thing with "significant news." i wonder?

couch-surfing

i bid farewell to the condo. i just let it go. the moment i decided to walk, i felt better. without a doubt, i made the right decision.

the condo will now go into foreclosure. makes me wonder if the bank thinks it can get more money from auction? i will never know. DONE. move along...

i moved all of my belongings into a storage space this past weekend...and into my sister's home in carefree...and miscellaneous items are located at that same sister's condo in the city, and the other sister's home in scottsdale...it's all over phoenix. i am all over phoenix. literally. OVER phoenix.

i leave for france next wednesday. until then, i am moving from one couch to daybed to futon...to another couch/daybed/futon. i carry my sleeping bag, suitcase, work clothes (on hangers), gym bag, wetsuit, laptop, and bike in/on my car. my sisters have been kind enough to let me use their laundry machines...that was getting a little out of control. my wallet is overflowing with receipts because i eat out EVERY day (and have been since i gave up the fridge over a month ago). the mail is, once again, on vacation hold. for a month. in some ways, this is fun. it is requiring a lot of organization, but there is not a dull moment.

i am curious to see what happens when i return from france. who knows? i may not even come back!

the gypsy blood

that's what my sister calls it...'the gypsy blood.' we have it, in a philosophical sense. we like to move around, live in new places, and have the ability to up and go at a moment's notice with little attachment to our current locale. that's just the way it is. and yet, we retain roots in washington. for her, gig harbor. for me, seattle. that city will always be my "home." i often crave its coffee culture, its endless waterways, its eclectic neighborhoods, its accessible and diverse nightlife and music scene, its fantastic public transportation system, its style and bumper stickers...its access to the outdoors! i even miss the rain and the occasional freezing, crisp mornings when the blades of grass are shimmering in the sunshine. the city is magical. moving back should be a brainless decision. but then, there is a glitch. i have fallen in love with colorado for an endless number of reasons. interestingly, since moving to phoenix, i have learned that i do not miss the water so much. i prefer the mountains and yes, even the dry desert landscape. i love the smells of the earth and the wild weather. but phoenix is not for me. and yet i am glad i came here, for at least a little while. i learned a lot. i especially love that my family is here, but that is ALL that is here. another move is in order. (come on, would you really expect anything else from me?! that damn gypsy blood... :)

why am i talking crazy like this? this situation with the condo, which is still ongoing, has got me thinking about a lot about things. i have many theories, one of them being, if you are meant to have something, it will come to you. another, obstacles are a way to make you think hard about what you really want. needless to say, trying to buy this condo has presented one obstacle after another. it has been an emotional roller coaster. it has beat me down. and most importantly, it has forced me to think...probably for the first time since i moved to phoenix. a few things i have realized:

• i am comparing myself to others. i see friends who own homes, are fully established in their careers, are married, are having kids...and i actually began to feel like i had to go that route, or "keep up." but that's not ME. at least not now. i need to do my own thing, follow MY heart. and look what i get: i am living some great adventures, have the freedom to pick up and leave the country for a month without answering to anyone, to drop a job when i feel unchallenged and not have to worry about paying a mortgage, to try ANOTHER career, to move to ANOTHER city...i get to be that free spirit, gather contrast, break all the rules...just be unconventional, at times impulsive and erratic! no pressure to please anyone.
  
• and that being said, things change, including your friends. sometimes you just need to let go of certain people, especially those who fear your decisions. people enter your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. and all serve their purpose perfectly.
  
• the universe really does steer you right, often in mysterious ways. since moving to phoenix, nothing has been easy. i only realized yesterday, as i was riding my bike through sedona (did i pass through an energy vortex?! :), i have been unsettled since i crossed that california-arizona border back in december 2008. every aspect of my life in phoenix, with the exception of family, has been a challenge. none of it has felt right. that says something to me.

i decided to shake up the energy of the universe this morning. i applied for a couple jobs, one in denver, one in seattle. we'll see what happens...but i am not fighting any longer.

chillax

i've been so caught up with the condo movement (or lack thereof) lately that i feel like the rest of my life is passing me by unnoticed, which is unfortunate because there are so many other good, less stressful things to focus on. first of all, france is right around the corner. i leave in three weeks! i need to a swimsuit. that's all. no shots this time around, thank the big cosmic G! i like my new gym, and pay more than $100 LESS than the last gym...even though i have to bring my own towels. the little bugs in "my" kitchen are gone (but then, so is Slick, which i am very sad about). i fit into my favorite jeans once again! i have a job. i didn't get a flat tire all weekend, despite all the pointy rocks on the trail. my car is shiny...and no tickets lately. :) my family rocks...and is very generous with the use of its appliances while i have none. i have water and ac and internet. i have an address (well, an illegal one, but an address nonetheless) and a mailbox key. and no nasty gram from my prior landlord threatening a lawsuit for breaking the [nonexistent, i maintain] lease! and tomorrow, i get to model indoor vapor intrusion into a local warehouse...so freakin cool. off to slumber.