home...for reals

i never thought i would be able to say this, but i LOVE my job!!! i just finished my first week. i have projects...MEANINGFUL projects...that interest and challenge and satisfy me. i have great coworkers. my hours are not overly demanding. in fact, i am salary up to 40 hours/week, and then i get 1.5x for anything over 40 hours. wow!!! flex time. benefits. fieldwork. a view of san francisco from my desk?!!! my desk/computer was ready for me on the first day. i got a paycheck 4 days into the job. i drive 4 miles to work. speaking of...i also LOVE my new pad!

i now live in an utterly charming one bedroom "cottage" (ALONE) near Lake Merritt in north Oakland. i have dark hardwood floors, a working fireplace (red with cute as hell details), old fashioned BIG windows, a cute patio out front, a gas stove...there's even an old icebox in the kitchen that's been converted to cupboard space. uber cute place, and i have big girl furniture now, including a red suede papasan chair (which i've wanted forever!!!), so it's comfortable and cozy and homey and all mine!!! i leave music playing in the background most of the time, and my crystals in the window provide me with a fantastic display of rainbows (i.e. good chi!) at least once a day. i also have friendly neighbors who like to mingle (just got back from a sunday afternoon champagne feast with them all - made friends with the local alterations lady, painter, judge, and bartender. :) my closest neighbor is the marketer for title 9 who wants to hook me up. no joke. and she has a three-legged 14 year old dog named deliliah who likes to chill on my front porch. when i look out the window i see trees, flowers, and bushes (or delilah)...feels like santa barbara without the freaky people. hurray! i am walking distance to the lake (one block away), a bazillion restaurants (including ethiopian, thai, dim sum, sushi...anything you can think of), a new wine bar (which i checked out with the Fostinos last night), tango/salsa/ballroom lessons, my laundromat, the gym, two florists, at least four coffee shops (one of which is GOTH...omg!), the grand lake theater and parkway theater (where you eat pizza and drink beer while watching cheap movies), mini marts (and yes, they all have ben & jerry's - put in a request last night for b&j's peanut butter cup flavor), and whole foods and trader joes are coming in within the next couple of months. i live in the best neighborhood in the world!!! i even live near some of my grad school peeps, and have incredible access to all freeways that lead directly to san francisco, san jose AND tahoe...kirkwood is only a 3 hour drive, which is icing. the ONLY bad thing - no morning dove lives near me. :(

but overall, my life rules. never thought it would happen. no chaos - i actually feel settled for the first time in my life. my car runs. i am stocked with coffee beans and a new espresso/coffee machine (but then we have peet's coffee at work in the unlikely event i run out of beans at home). i have loads of clean dish sponges under the sink and don't have to worry about roommates leaving behind an empty roll of tp (or shit on the toilet seat). i cleaned my place yesterday and it's still clean! i am back near the bay area bike trails (rode skeggs yesterday with the old crew), gearing up to explore the easy bay and marin trails with some new peeps this week - i posted an ad on craigslist for mtb buddies. i can go on an on...but i'll stop. am i making you sick?!

ok, now a quick recap of how i got to this point, since i am soooooo good at updating my blog. i left santa barbarba june 2 - graduation was june 15, but i left early for too many reasons. my interview was june 10 in berkeley, which is the day my company offered me a job. then i immediately drove north and spent the next two months visiting family and friends in WA and TX. i spent a weekend in austin with the girls, lots of time in seattle, 5 days in colorado (3 spent camping/biking in crested butte...which ROCKED), and then there were various trips to random locations which i don't care to recall. i saw some wicked thunderstorms and became accustomed to running in disgustingly humid weather at 6am...that and biking at 10,700 feet. i experienced wildflowers in boulder and discovered a lush texas. i also got the chance to truly close a painful chapter in my life and move on.

toodling around

so...i got a job! it's with malcolm pirnie, "fiercely independent" environmental consultants, in Berkeley. i am stoked! (and this is after missing the first phone interview due to a misplaced phone number, my shirt splitting in the back while dressing for the interview, sweaty armpits, and arriving late for the in-person interview due to bay area traffic...totally jinxed and i still got it. unbelievable!) i'll be working as an environmental engineer, saving the world. really, this gig rocks. the company culture is ideal. the actual work is ideal. the compensation is really good. this office even has a "FUN committee"...yes, capital F-U-N...AND they have giant basket of chocolate when you walk in, which includes dark chocolate. priorities, you know? can't wait to get going with my new career! (wow, am i really looking forward to a j-o-b?!) i start mid-August, so will toodle around until then. still trying to figure out what to do with that free ticket. still really interested in visiting Marcy and Zach since i don't know when i'll have another chance to head over. AND Sean's in Italy for the summer, and traveling with him is always an adventure. seems like an ideal time...but i need to decide soon.

at the moment, i am in WA. chilling with the pugs. jazzy now howls like a werewolf. actually just drove in a few hours ago. such a looooooooong drive. ugh. my parents are in the middle of packing up and putting everything in storage. i am really, really homeless. it's a weird feeling. i have no permanent address. i am sleeping amidst boxes. everything in my life is so unsettled now. i spent the past week in the bay area, at the Fostino's. it was fun! they had a graduation party for me, so i got to see everyone.

life is awesome. i was riding fremont older last week and thought back a bit, specifically three years ago which is almost to the day when i left nanosolar. i think about everything that's happened since then. it's a long list: traveled for a couple months in europe/africa, learned to bartend and then actually bartended for real cash (on the beach, no less!), got my graduate degree, worked at the US EPA (my dream), finished a master's thesis that's made a great impact, fell in love and got my heart broken for the first time, reconnected with a number of family members, and raced my mountain bike...AND learned to downhill. i also tried online dating, lived in santa barbara and santa cruz, took an avalanche/snowpack course, and gained a lot of focus. i've become intrigued with feng shui and nearly obsessed with myspace. scary. i've met a ton of new people, somehow managed to grow the relationships with my oldest friends, and SWORN OFF ROOMMATES FOR LIFE.

status

i can now officially fit everything i own into two jetta carloads. sweet. i sold my piece-of-shit cruiser bike today for $25 (believe it) and my road bike for $75, which i rode it to campus one last time today. very sad...almost wanted to cry! that bike ride has been my favorite thing about being in santa barbara for two years. the orange flowers are out now, the ones you can eat! they come out this time of year. when deciding whether to return to the epa this spring or stick around sb for another quarter, i thought of those orange flowers and the associated bike ride in sunny weather. they lured me to stay, and i had to say goodbye to them today...the $2500+ orange flowers. so, onto the next phase i go. another bike path, another routine, different flowers, and hopefully a better bike. :)

tomorrow i move everything into storage. it shouldn't take long. i then have two assignments to complete for school, then i'm out of here. i should be heading up to the fostino's later next week. in the meantime, i'll be couch-surfing. i'm tired of this lifestyle. no more roommates. no more roaming around. no more cheap furniture. i have a few job interviews coming up. i am excited about ONE of the jobs...the one in reno. i hope it works out.

you know you're over roommates when...

i walked into the bathroom this morning and found that one of my roommates (yes, the "pot smoker") smeared shit all over the seat and went to work without cleaning it up. and this is only the icing. i am so disgusted by this house. i can't get clean enough, just knowing that gross, dirty person lives here. i am changing my grades to pass/fail so i do not have to complete final assignments which would keep me around an extra week. done. over it.

whirlwind of fun! not really.

i just got back from scottsdale. pulled in at 1230 am last night after a pretty smooth 7-hour drive. i blazed the empty freeways on two espresso shots and a double-sized sugar free rock star. yum! and then i get home and couldn't fall asleep. at least it was cool. i like hot weather, but az has now hit the "ridculously hot" phase. just being alive in that heat makes you drag. so, my niece graduated from high school last thursday (which is why i went to az). my little brother graduates from high school in two weeks. i graduate in three weeks. see something funny going on here?

i have to be out of my room by friday morning. i just found out a few days ago, so i had to cut my memorial day weekend short. i have been packing all day today. i'm tired. i have assignments still due this week so need tomorrow to work on them, and then i have class all day. thursday, my stuff goes into storage. then i crash on the couch for a week. then i drive to vegas for the weekend. i think. then i drive to reno for a job interview. (yes, reno.) i think. then i drive to the fostino's. pretty sure about this one. (i'm not walking at commencement, peeps.) then i drive to wa to help my parents pack because they just sold their house. at the end of june: homeless, jobless, penniless...possibly friendless after i abuse all my couch-surfing privileges. i hope to use my free plane ticket to travel during july, but at the rate i'm going, i can only plan a few weeks in advance and stay sane. july is too far out.

for the rest of today, i will rest. i am going to watch 'casino royale' and read a great book recommended by my sister, 'the other boleyn girl.' it's good...i can't put it down. maybe i'll also nap...(yawn)

coming together while falling apart

i have been showing my room all week, trying to rent it so i can be out of here within the next month. it's a weird feeling. moving...again. i should be used to this. and it's funny how life has a way of reminding you how far you've come, for example, one girl who responded to my ad. we had met up in santa cruz while i was bartending only a couple weeks before i moved to santa barbara, and once again, our paths cross as we are about to leave. in a strange way, her wanting to move into my room gave me HOPE during this hectic time because it made me feel like i was at least ahead in some respects, and it was a bittersweet finale to my time in sb. also, everyone who is looking at my room is very young, like early-20s, which is just a reminder that this town really is no place for me...AND i knew two of the girls, while my roommate knew one. another reminder that this town is too small, and it is obviously trying to push me out...for good reasons. and then there is the fact one of my roommates brought loud people in last night at 2am. i am OVER IT!!!! SO OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to make things even more uncomfortable for myself (well, this is in addition to my early morning appointment yesterday with Beverly, aka "my waxer lady"), i have decided to wipe my slate clean with this move by selling all of my furniture (which isn't much)...primarily for three reasons: 1) my moving costs will go down, and i am likely leaving the state, 2) wherever i go next, i want to "settle" and splurge on some nice furniture for once, and 3) i want to eliminate any bad energy being harbored in the furniture from my life - too many memories. thus, i put my dresser and bed onto craigslist (yup, the only two pieces of furniture i own). the dresser sold within 15 minutes. it made me sick to my stomach, which is obviously a sign of attachment to a piece of crap from ikea, or maybe to the "idea" of being settled, which i am obviously not. this morning, i got an email from someone who wants to look at my futon tomorrow. (yikes, where will i sleep?! my clothes are already in a giant suitcase.) next on the list:

• my road bike...which really is a piece of crap, but i use it to commute to school 20 miles/day. it is definitely a good training tool, and i plan to upgrade once i get a J-O-B.
  
• my cruiser bike, aka "piece of shit bike." i found it in a dumpster, or at least i inherited it from a friend who found it in a dumpster, and my reluctance in letting it go truly exemplifies the result of ultimate attachment to worthless junk, although i did use the thing for transportation for six months straight when i worked as a bartender, and now use it to get all over downtown sb - because nobody will steal it! Stew had a fit when he learned he needed to transport it from sc to sb on his Hummer. i could on and on with stories about this bike...very sad indeed to see it go.
• my pink 9'0 surfboard, my 9'2 surfboard (aka "kwazi), and my 8'0 surfboard, aka "piece of shit surfboard." no need for these guys in CO...or Reno, or wherever i end up. (Reno is a whole other story.) there is a chance i will also sell my 7'8 board, but it is gorgeous, not a single ding, and very versatile. i feel like i should keep at least one board around.
• surfboard rack for bike. can at least get $10 from this setup.
  
• my kite...for kiteboarding. it's another piece of crap i own.
• one of the most difficult things i am doing is getting rid of a number of favorite books. this is a difficult one. i will likely take them to school in a box and leave them on a table for all to have at it. might as well spread the pleasure those books have given me, yes?
  

i am going to hang onto my hardtail and full-suspension bikes, my wakeboard, and two snowboards. i already feel lighter. :) oh, and if anyone wants to take my college loan off my hands, have at it. you would REALLY be my favorite person then!

ok, now that i have completely inventoried my belongings in three paragraphs...more later when i figure out what my plans are.

success! i think...

despite some stress (er...maybe a lot), i pulled off my first baby shower. gorgeous day, outside affair, got to get in some bartending time...no, i didn't serve the pregnant peeps. of course, i had to scour the house for 2.5 hours prior because i live with three guys who don't give a crap what this place looks like. oh well, i'm moving! soon. i love this house, but only if i get it all to myself. not gonna happen.

before the party, i got in a nice bike ride at elings. i am signing up for another race, on my home course. june 2. come watch.

i didn't think about the job hunt today. it was nice.

case of the missing cell

so...never thought it would happen to me, but i was absented-minded enough this morning after a BAD interview to lose my phone. i set it on top of my car and drove off. i returned to the scene to look for it, and all i found was one of those giant flood capacity rain gutters they have all over LA. nice. i feel good knowing i've spurred a future Superfund site. however, i had the foresight a couple months ago (well, i was bored enough) to store all my contact info on the verizon website. i am usually against that type of activity...you know, don't want the government to have TOO much info...but deep down, maybe i anticipated this day and went ahead with it. so, never fear: i have all your phone numbers!!! haha! too bad for you. now, the craziest thing happened, the type of thing that really makes me think humanity has something going for itself. i was meeting with a group of girls at school during lunch, since we are all planning a baby shower for Maria. they wanted me to send out my cell number since we're hosting at my place, to which i replied with my lost-cell-phone story. Sarah said, "i have a fee phone now with Verizon. i love my old phone so much that i don't want the new one. you can have it." huh?! Sarah is giving me a free phone! what a lovely, silver lining to my massively poopy day...or morning, at least. and THEN, Tammy wanted a Wendys frosty for lunch, but also did NOT want one, so she had the Wendys people split it in half so that technically, she didn't have one...and gave the other half to me so my day would be better!!! girlfriends rule.

so, i woke up at 550am to interview for an environmental consulting gig in woodland hills at 7am (who the hell interviews at that time?! yup, i found em!), with suit...lost my phone...good stuff happened (see above)...then i got stuck at a 5pm poster presentation during the evening at my school, a mingling "event" with industry which i only attended because i am still looking for a job, again with suit. (i hate suits.) i ended up hanging with three old dudes who wanted to chat it up about STRIP CLUBS, at a professional function no less. one of them lives in vegas, e.g., an "environmental disaster." one works for the petroleum association, something like that. one works for a state senator. all three were recruiting at a school of environmental science and management. and then they started to talk crap about the frogs. boo.

the job search sucks thus far...but things are being put into perspective, or maybe i'm just losing patience and am resorting to drastic measures. first, i applied for a job as a tv show host on the travel channel. they wanted someone with an environmental science background to act as a "guide" for a show on eco-tourism around the world. hello...DREAM JOB! the gal even called me back, got me all pumped and i submitted two videos with the help of an amazing full-fledged media crew at Bren...blah blah blah...first thing i've been excited about in months. found out yesterday, totally didn't get it. :( next, i've been applying for environmental consulting gigs because cleaning up hazardous waste gets me really excited for some reason, but EVERY SINGLE COMPANY has lured me in under false pretenses, e.g., location-wise or job-wise. THEN, after they get me to drive 100 miles for an interview, they lay it on me that 1) the job is actually in orange county (gag), or 2) the job is not quite what they described on the phone. people, have you seen the gas prices?!!! (it has hit $4 in my area.) so inconvenient and unthoughtful...gee whiz. at this point, i am seriously considering packing up my car...whatever doesn't fit, sell it...and heading for Colo...and whenever i see a bike trail along the way, ride it. apply for jobs once i get there because i would have a better chance, but then i'd be so busy on my bike, not sure if this plan would work. can anyone out there think of a crazier plan?!!!

also, anyone out there have a job they want to give me?! preferably one that will allow me to pursue creative environmental problem-solving, either related to hazardous waste or air quality, in an office with windows (overlooking either the beach or mountains), with some field work and international travel. friendly, competent personnel and good benefits, especially flexible hours, a plus. i also seek six figures, a hot boy (brains not necessary), and dog with the deal. and a new bike.

post grad action plan...sorta

hi all, welcome to my blog!

so...what's going on with me NOW?! well, i recently completed my master's thesis on current environmental health and safety practices in the nanotechnology workplace. (the reports can be found at http://icon.rice.edu/projects.cfm?doc_id=4388). that being done, i graduate on june 15. time flies! and then what? i should be used to this transition stuff, but it's always scary. i have been interviewing, but no job has interested me. i mean, come on...all i want is something that will let me save the world! i am trying my hardest not to repeat the same mistake i did after undergrad - jump into the first offer without concern for a fit with my interests. i also want to relocate to denver (just cuz), and i want to travel before moving into a long-term job (i have a free flight to europe or latin america, so that's a no brainer). i am itching for adventure big time, and i have no responsibility right now - no man, no kids, no mortgage, few bills, minimal commitments, lots of time. i feel like life has set me up perfectly do to something wild and out of the ordinary! the catch: no $$$. i have some ideas, but i am waiting to hear on a few things before i can commit to a plan.

overall, i have few distractions in my life right now. school is VERY chill since i am only taking 10 credits. i also work 10 hours a week at a career center - easy stuff, so i get to think a lot (which isn't always a good thing). i am getting outside a lot, on my mountain bike mainly. i raced the sea otter classic up in monterey a few weeks ago and did really well! i am racing again on june 2 in santa barbara. it's my home course, so i want to rock it. interestingly, i feel like my only home is on the bike. that sound weird? it is the ONLY place where i feel truly comfortable, and it teaches me good lessons, like training me to keep my eyes on the destination rather than immediate obstacles. it has made me stronger, mentally and physically. otherwise, i am spending a lot of time by myself these days. by choice. i usually feel like i want to climb into a hole and do my own thing. hanging out with most people in santa barbara is work! my age is out of place, my interests don't gel with others, i'm SINGLE (which makes me "weird"), and i am tired of being flaked on...so many "we should do this" statements that never come to fruition. i am also changing a lot these days, and most santa barbara folk don't like change...AND i don't hit the bars often enough to be considered "fun." bummer for me.

ok, so the lastest enviro news: the united nations reported on friday that we can "stop" global warming at the cost of a "reasonable" 0.12% of the globe's annual GDP, i.e., trillions of dollars. all we need to do is decrease emissions by 50-85% by 2050 to maintain a temperature rise of 3.6F. sure...