pancake batter

i have decided that my move to arizona would be for ME. california is played out. as my yoga teacher says when we lie on our mats, jiggle around like you're pancake batter and fill in the cracks -- makes for greater comfort. i've attempted this strategy while in california since 1999 and i cannot fill in the cracks and get comfortable. sure, i take that chance i will not get comfortable in arizona, but it sure ain't happening in california, so in a sense i have nothing to lose. literally. i have NOTHING in california except a rent payment and a job that has officially consumed me. oh, and some baggage i would like to ditch. and besides, in arizona, i will be within driving distance of my sisters and mom, so if the going gets tough, i can just complain to them -- in person, for once. that's a novelty. :)

californication

i have a new addiction. (yes, i said "new." that means i do have others.) it's a tv show. strange, considering i don't have tv. well, i technically have a tv that likes to take up physical space and stick its tongue out at me, but no cable. yet i do have the internet which can download tv shows. so do i have tv? ok, that's not the point. my POINT is, i am newly addicted to a sweet little show called "californication." it's david duchovny's take two. his limelight without aliens and that redhead. if i were a man, i would want to be his character in this show, hank moody. minus the smoking and the lack of biking. and i'd get my headlight on the porsche fixed. (or maybe, since i AM a girl, i will simplify things and say i'd just go for him.) but this guy is COOL. and he's a romantic at heart. and honest. and sticks up for the people he loves. in fact, i think his character represents action without inhibitions, which is refreshing.

shift happens

i have nothing particularly interesting to say right now. other than the fact that the apartment below my friend, Lauren, went up for rent. i love her apartment. it's bigger than mine. it has the mandatory hardwood floors and gas range. the location is better. actually sports a yard in the back. this place would even be cheaper (well, $60 per month cheaper), and it includes a 2-car garage. yes, that is like a dream come true! i love a big garage. i can store a lot of bike parts in a garage. so, strangely, this new development has me thinking quite a bit about what i want to do in the upcoming days of my so-called life. do i stay in my current residence, which is still very pleasant (and feng shui'd to the hilt!), and enjoy the life-without-lease? i can pick up and go anytime. or do i forgo that minor freedom factor and go for this new pad? how much do i REALLY like oakland? my neighbors? what about tempe? do i enjoy my job enough to let it chain me down for a while longer? what about my business plan? how badly do i want that beemer?! meaning, i would have a garage to park it in with that move. hmm. again, a garage is critical. :)

i love how life is quirky. (or do i? something else to think about.) these seemingly random-slash-insignificant events just pop up out of nowhere and turn my/your world upside down...or possibly to a slight 13 degree angle, but whatever, it causes a shift. "shift happens." and because of this rental hitting craigslist, i now get to climb into my bathtub and think about what i want to do with this next year rather than the absolutely DELICIOUS (yes, i am using that word) man i saw on the bike trail yesterday. well, maybe i'll split my think time. yeah, my tub will be like my think tank. get it. water. tank. ok, bad.

beliefs - good or bad?

i woke up this morning to a very strange thought...no idea where it came from. what if people were to suspend all beliefs at each new experience? 1) is that even possible? 2) how would the world be different? i find it an intriguing question. even better, what are beliefs? they develop - that means they can be destroyed, yes?

so, here is my update:

-i've been studying diligently for the LEED AP exam. i have also started to look into feng shui principles more deeply, including the i ching, and i will soon be taking a course and moving that little business along.
-i am tossing around the idea of purchasing a condo. they are RIDICULOUSLY cheap in this area right now. prices have dropped 50% or more. i am debating if that is a good or bad thing. i was pre-approved for a loan, but the housing market is so unstable, i am unsure if now is the time to go big. (thoughts, anyone? anyone?)
-that being said, no word on the transfer to tempe. things are moving slowly, and frankly, i am fully happy with 'what is' right now. i feel like i am finally learning to be content with what i have and not feel the need to constantly go go go, move, plan, be quick with decisions, etc. also, it's crossed my mind that i could move down there and then my family up and relocates - anything is possible. i need to make sure the move is for ME and not anyone else.
-the job is...interesting. these days, i am doing battle with four permit offices.
-my hair is uber long - i made an appointment for next week.
-my biking is going really well. i feel very strong and am looking into joining a race team (mountain and/or road). i am going to a camp early august for advanced mountain biking techniques. the trainer is a two-time olympian. sweet!
-i have finally managed to make yoga a regular practice. that is a big deal for me.
-and i have a date tonight. with a scorpio. and i have no expectations. threw those suckers out the window a while ago.