couch-surfing

i bid farewell to the condo. i just let it go. the moment i decided to walk, i felt better. without a doubt, i made the right decision.

the condo will now go into foreclosure. makes me wonder if the bank thinks it can get more money from auction? i will never know. DONE. move along...

i moved all of my belongings into a storage space this past weekend...and into my sister's home in carefree...and miscellaneous items are located at that same sister's condo in the city, and the other sister's home in scottsdale...it's all over phoenix. i am all over phoenix. literally. OVER phoenix.

i leave for france next wednesday. until then, i am moving from one couch to daybed to futon...to another couch/daybed/futon. i carry my sleeping bag, suitcase, work clothes (on hangers), gym bag, wetsuit, laptop, and bike in/on my car. my sisters have been kind enough to let me use their laundry machines...that was getting a little out of control. my wallet is overflowing with receipts because i eat out EVERY day (and have been since i gave up the fridge over a month ago). the mail is, once again, on vacation hold. for a month. in some ways, this is fun. it is requiring a lot of organization, but there is not a dull moment.

i am curious to see what happens when i return from france. who knows? i may not even come back!

the gypsy blood

that's what my sister calls it...'the gypsy blood.' we have it, in a philosophical sense. we like to move around, live in new places, and have the ability to up and go at a moment's notice with little attachment to our current locale. that's just the way it is. and yet, we retain roots in washington. for her, gig harbor. for me, seattle. that city will always be my "home." i often crave its coffee culture, its endless waterways, its eclectic neighborhoods, its accessible and diverse nightlife and music scene, its fantastic public transportation system, its style and bumper stickers...its access to the outdoors! i even miss the rain and the occasional freezing, crisp mornings when the blades of grass are shimmering in the sunshine. the city is magical. moving back should be a brainless decision. but then, there is a glitch. i have fallen in love with colorado for an endless number of reasons. interestingly, since moving to phoenix, i have learned that i do not miss the water so much. i prefer the mountains and yes, even the dry desert landscape. i love the smells of the earth and the wild weather. but phoenix is not for me. and yet i am glad i came here, for at least a little while. i learned a lot. i especially love that my family is here, but that is ALL that is here. another move is in order. (come on, would you really expect anything else from me?! that damn gypsy blood... :)

why am i talking crazy like this? this situation with the condo, which is still ongoing, has got me thinking about a lot about things. i have many theories, one of them being, if you are meant to have something, it will come to you. another, obstacles are a way to make you think hard about what you really want. needless to say, trying to buy this condo has presented one obstacle after another. it has been an emotional roller coaster. it has beat me down. and most importantly, it has forced me to think...probably for the first time since i moved to phoenix. a few things i have realized:

• i am comparing myself to others. i see friends who own homes, are fully established in their careers, are married, are having kids...and i actually began to feel like i had to go that route, or "keep up." but that's not ME. at least not now. i need to do my own thing, follow MY heart. and look what i get: i am living some great adventures, have the freedom to pick up and leave the country for a month without answering to anyone, to drop a job when i feel unchallenged and not have to worry about paying a mortgage, to try ANOTHER career, to move to ANOTHER city...i get to be that free spirit, gather contrast, break all the rules...just be unconventional, at times impulsive and erratic! no pressure to please anyone.
  
• and that being said, things change, including your friends. sometimes you just need to let go of certain people, especially those who fear your decisions. people enter your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. and all serve their purpose perfectly.
  
• the universe really does steer you right, often in mysterious ways. since moving to phoenix, nothing has been easy. i only realized yesterday, as i was riding my bike through sedona (did i pass through an energy vortex?! :), i have been unsettled since i crossed that california-arizona border back in december 2008. every aspect of my life in phoenix, with the exception of family, has been a challenge. none of it has felt right. that says something to me.

i decided to shake up the energy of the universe this morning. i applied for a couple jobs, one in denver, one in seattle. we'll see what happens...but i am not fighting any longer.

chillax

i've been so caught up with the condo movement (or lack thereof) lately that i feel like the rest of my life is passing me by unnoticed, which is unfortunate because there are so many other good, less stressful things to focus on. first of all, france is right around the corner. i leave in three weeks! i need to a swimsuit. that's all. no shots this time around, thank the big cosmic G! i like my new gym, and pay more than $100 LESS than the last gym...even though i have to bring my own towels. the little bugs in "my" kitchen are gone (but then, so is Slick, which i am very sad about). i fit into my favorite jeans once again! i have a job. i didn't get a flat tire all weekend, despite all the pointy rocks on the trail. my car is shiny...and no tickets lately. :) my family rocks...and is very generous with the use of its appliances while i have none. i have water and ac and internet. i have an address (well, an illegal one, but an address nonetheless) and a mailbox key. and no nasty gram from my prior landlord threatening a lawsuit for breaking the [nonexistent, i maintain] lease! and tomorrow, i get to model indoor vapor intrusion into a local warehouse...so freakin cool. off to slumber.

slick and the squatter

someone once said to me, 'it's a recession if someone you know loses his job, it's a depression if you lose your job.' so, what is it if you've stooped to squatting in a condo you'd like to buy? my life in a nutshell. still, no appliances, living out of boxes, mail going to the ghetto post office (which i will only go to once a week because the place is, like i said, GHETTO)...but i am getting used to this state of limbo. good or bad? i have also vowed not to put another penny into the place until it belongs to me. therefore, i will continue to listen to the annoying beeps from the fire alarm, alerting me the battery is almost out of juice, rather than put out a few bucks for a new battery. i will continue to take 'low level' baths, rather than showers, to prevent water from entering cracks in the tile and fixtures that need to be caulked. i will also stumble through the carport at night, in the dark, rather than buying new lightbulbs for the lighting fixtures. bruises abound.

really, though...how much longer can this go on?! i want a punching bag. and a mini fridge.

i simply feel defeated. sigh.

but at least i have a roommate. his name is Slick. he's a baby gecko, and he likes to run all over the place. he even greeted me when i got home last night. the place feels a little cozier with him around.

my personal cartoon

my aunt told me to look at this home-buying experience like it's a cartoon. no kidding. i signed papers yesterday, but no money exchanged hands...BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS HOW MUCH I OWE. say what? no, seriously...the realtor/lender/bank are at battle. some idiot at the bank closed the file on friday, and now his managers are playing damage control. the bank also decided NOW that they only want to pay 3% for closing costs, not 5% as originally promised. (is that legal?) further, the bank wants me to cough up the last 7 months' worth of HOA backpayments...even though i am not the owner. now, how does that work? AND they want me to pay a lien on the property for a roof assessment that was due 5/1/09...again, not the owner! amazing.

now my question is, this bank has a property just sitting there, about to go into foreclosure...and then i come along and want to buy it (after it sat on the market for eight months without a single offer). why is the bank resisting this sale so much? sniff sniff. is that...greed? could come back to bite them in the ass because i am being worn down and if they don't budge soon, i am walking. detachment is bliss. :)

so, regardless, i am sleeping there tonight since i have to pass over my keys to the apartment this afternoon. i pushed the appliance delivery to next week. (a week without a fridge...i am going to have to dig deep to remember my experiences in spain.) my belongings will remain in boxes until the sale is final. i will continue to sleep on my mattress pad. my mail is on vacation hold since i have no idea where to send it. i am having internet turned on tomorrow...for fun.

i am going to implode

again...hiccups. the docs are still being prepared. they should have been at title yesterday. the bank deadline is on thursday. the condo is sterile. the carpet was professionally cleaned. the kitchen has been painted and the grout cleaned (by the AWESOME "three bees," including my nephew who rocks the magic marker). the electric is on, in my name. appliances come in on saturday (already post-poned the date THREE times). i am being kicked out of my current pad on thursday. electric goes off there on thursday and the carpet will be cleaned...tomorrow? the internet gets transferred on thursday. i still need to submit a change-of-address form. do i get a post office box? i am living in limbo. again. i hate this.

my clean weekend

i spent this past weekend cleaning the new condo. it was ok, except for the kitchen...gross gross gross! next time i will pay someone to clean the kitchen for me. the downstairs took THREE mop jobs. i actually got blisters from mopping. in the end, everything was spic and span. the carpets, however, had to wait. the electric was not turned on, so i could not vacuum or shampoo the second floor. the BEST part of having no electric (in phoenix, no less): no AC!!! talk about misery.

here are a few "before" pics...


this is a shot of the UGLIEST fireplace i have ever seen. i already planned a demolition weekend. word on the street is this monstrosity covers up a "zen like" marble masterpiece. what was the previous owner thinking?! my realtor said she was dating a guy (a contractor) who was trying to woo her with this thing. i would have dumped him. the french doors, 14' ceiling, tile flooring (keeps things cool), and natural light sold me, however. also notice the mop. i believe you will see my blood on that thing if you look closely enough, stupid cleaning device. and get this: in those boxes back there, in the corner, is my first dining room table EVER! so excited.


next up is a shot of the stairway. i LOVE the open riser stairs. it makes the place feel really spacious, especially when you walk in the front door, and it's all kinda 80s (and we all know how i love the 80s!). eventually i am going to strip the carpet and cover the stairs with dark wood. same goes with the entire upstairs.

there is a half-bath and coat closet to the left of the front door there. the half-bath is slated to be the "goth" bathroom. :)

here are a few quick shots of the upstairs, namely the master (a "loft") and guest bedrooms, each of which has a door that leads out onto a small deck where i can drink my peet's and eat my prunes in the hot morning sun...

note: the ugly fan is out. and yes, the walls are pink. painting is on the list. the master bath is in great condition, fortunately.

now i am apologizing. we are about to enter the kitchen area...ack!


this is where most of my weekend was spent. the condo does not come with appliances. what you see are pieces of crap that do not work. i am shocked they had the oven plugged in because it is a major fire hazard. this dishwasher is a prop; it is not connected. there is water damage under the sink due to an issue with the last installed dishwasher (i presume), but that is the only thing wrong with the condo, so not a big deal. i will learn something. the cabinets are pretty standard, but in good shape. the walls need painting; there are permanent grease/food marks surrounding the oven area. countertops are "granite look." whatever. they're in good shape. the door leads to the 2-car carport (which i eventually want to turn into a garage, if the HOA will let me).

ok, time for the real nasties! ooh...ahh...

and my reaction...

rubber gloves on. and the after shots, brought to you by the domestic UNgoddess!

to be continued...