i am going to implode

again...hiccups. the docs are still being prepared. they should have been at title yesterday. the bank deadline is on thursday. the condo is sterile. the carpet was professionally cleaned. the kitchen has been painted and the grout cleaned (by the AWESOME "three bees," including my nephew who rocks the magic marker). the electric is on, in my name. appliances come in on saturday (already post-poned the date THREE times). i am being kicked out of my current pad on thursday. electric goes off there on thursday and the carpet will be cleaned...tomorrow? the internet gets transferred on thursday. i still need to submit a change-of-address form. do i get a post office box? i am living in limbo. again. i hate this.

my clean weekend

i spent this past weekend cleaning the new condo. it was ok, except for the kitchen...gross gross gross! next time i will pay someone to clean the kitchen for me. the downstairs took THREE mop jobs. i actually got blisters from mopping. in the end, everything was spic and span. the carpets, however, had to wait. the electric was not turned on, so i could not vacuum or shampoo the second floor. the BEST part of having no electric (in phoenix, no less): no AC!!! talk about misery.

here are a few "before" pics...


this is a shot of the UGLIEST fireplace i have ever seen. i already planned a demolition weekend. word on the street is this monstrosity covers up a "zen like" marble masterpiece. what was the previous owner thinking?! my realtor said she was dating a guy (a contractor) who was trying to woo her with this thing. i would have dumped him. the french doors, 14' ceiling, tile flooring (keeps things cool), and natural light sold me, however. also notice the mop. i believe you will see my blood on that thing if you look closely enough, stupid cleaning device. and get this: in those boxes back there, in the corner, is my first dining room table EVER! so excited.


next up is a shot of the stairway. i LOVE the open riser stairs. it makes the place feel really spacious, especially when you walk in the front door, and it's all kinda 80s (and we all know how i love the 80s!). eventually i am going to strip the carpet and cover the stairs with dark wood. same goes with the entire upstairs.

there is a half-bath and coat closet to the left of the front door there. the half-bath is slated to be the "goth" bathroom. :)

here are a few quick shots of the upstairs, namely the master (a "loft") and guest bedrooms, each of which has a door that leads out onto a small deck where i can drink my peet's and eat my prunes in the hot morning sun...

note: the ugly fan is out. and yes, the walls are pink. painting is on the list. the master bath is in great condition, fortunately.

now i am apologizing. we are about to enter the kitchen area...ack!


this is where most of my weekend was spent. the condo does not come with appliances. what you see are pieces of crap that do not work. i am shocked they had the oven plugged in because it is a major fire hazard. this dishwasher is a prop; it is not connected. there is water damage under the sink due to an issue with the last installed dishwasher (i presume), but that is the only thing wrong with the condo, so not a big deal. i will learn something. the cabinets are pretty standard, but in good shape. the walls need painting; there are permanent grease/food marks surrounding the oven area. countertops are "granite look." whatever. they're in good shape. the door leads to the 2-car carport (which i eventually want to turn into a garage, if the HOA will let me).

ok, time for the real nasties! ooh...ahh...

and my reaction...

rubber gloves on. and the after shots, brought to you by the domestic UNgoddess!

to be continued...

commitment...but not really

i am looking at my last posting and have to laugh...was it really march 31 when i made the offer on the condo?! well, i got it, after a FOUR MONTH struggle, but then i am typically drawn to a good challenge (check out the men i've dated. :). i officially sign papers this friday. however, it's a "sure thing" according to all parties involved (including the lender), so i already have the keys, am in the process of cleaning the place, ordered the energy star appliances (using my new home depot credit card :), bought my CFLs, bought a dining room table, etc...ah, the joys of homeownership.

now, you may be wondering why this process took so long! for starters, the condo is a short sale, and the realtor warned me right off the bat that this was going to take a while. turns out the "counter" process did not take much time at all...my offer was pretty much in line with what the bank was hoping for. the beast was securing the loan! i applied for a 5% down conventional. my prequal reflected that, everything seemed peachy, blah blah blah. when the time came to actually apply for the loan, Fannie and Freddie decided to require a minimum 10% downpayment for condos in "declining markets." phoenix is there. huh?! i could swing that, but i would not be left with enough to do the fun home improvement projects i was so looking forward to. also, in the process of calling lenders, i learned that a number of them required even MORE than 10% down in maricopa county (wells fargo wanted 35%!!!). this all led my very creative realtor to move in another direction. she decided to get the condo "spot approved," or rather, since the complex is not fha-approved, she would apply to have that single unit fha-approved, which would allow me to purchase the condo with a mere 3.5% down (yes, even that went up from 3%...this housing market is jacked, let me tell you!). it took a while, but everything panned out and i got the fha loan...and i still have a nice savings to play with.

lots of work, but the timing of my entry into the real estate market was impeccable, for a few reasons:

1) i get Obama's $8,000 tax credit, ON TOP of all the wonderful mortgage tax rebates
2) hud is planning to do away with fha spot approvals in a matter of months (and rather streamline the process for a complex to get approval)
3) i just got my raise/bonus last week (yeah, how much does my company rock? no layoffs and still passing out increases in salary...sweet!)
4) places are CHEAP!!! it's a good time to buy
5) basically, everything is on sale, including appliances and flooring
6) my current residence is going into foreclosure (which i learned a mere month after moving in...these phoenix landlords are scum), so i've been a sitting duck for six months, waiting for the place to be auctioned off, resulting in my eviction notice...this whole situation is a story in itself

now, is this condo purchase really commitment? you tell me. at my purchase price, i will be paying LESS for mortgage, insurance, taxes, and hoa than i currently pay in rent...not including maintenance costs, of course. if i decide to ditch town and head for Colorado in a couple of years, i can rent it out and profit $200 to $300 per month. i could actually do that now. this purchase is a no-brainer in my opinion.

and in the spirit of Karen's home improvement blog, i will try to dedicate space on this blog to my projects...starting with the cleaning, so stay tuned...

condomania

i am placing an offer on a condo today. i have been staring at this one for three months, since i first moved to Phoenix, and the price has continued to drop....which i don't understand. the place is great. the location is great (yes, i checked crime stats). not a single offer. until today!

i will post photos when i get it. :)

my 14-year-old therapist

my brother-in-law's 40th birthday party was last night. i am not a fan of big parties, only because i do better in small groups. i also feel big parties lend to the 'small talk' factor...lots of alcohol, small words, even smaller connections with people. however, i jump at any chance to see my family, and it was a good occasion to celebrate, so i went. fortunately.

before the party got going, i was introduced to a bubbly 14-year-old girl named Zella Day. she walked right up to me with a huge smile, introduced herself, and asked if i'd give her a tour of my sister's house. gladly. we chatted a bit, joked about the size of the home and the possibility of getting lost (which has happened!), and checked out her new 'movie star' sunglasses. super sweet girl. and apparently very humble, as i found out later that night she is a budding super star.

that night, her mother was talking to my sister and me about Zella's success (and this was after Zella knocked our socks off with a private performance). interesting story indeed, with the trips to Hollywood, the agents, and Zella's courage in the face of money and power and "machines." no doubt, that girl has talent, confidence, brains, and modesty...the only thing she lacks is fear! but what hit home for me was simply hearing about a young girl following her dream while being supported wholeheartedly by her family. surprisingly, this dug deep, and this one conversation ultimately became therapy for me because i realized that at one stage in my life, i was Zella! i had no fear. i loved to perform for others, act, sing, be creative. i would bust out with a lively rendition of "the sun will come out tomorrow" for anyone, anywhere, on cue! fortunately, i had the opportunity to play the violin for ten years, and i absolutely lost myself in that instrument for hours on end. and yet, all this makes me wonder how far i could have gone had i been provided the support and financial resources. what if my mom had taken me to the audition at The Pantages Theater that day i called her frantically from elementary school after hearing about auditions for a play? would i now be an actress? a stage director? a producer? what if mom had been able to afford to rent the cello, which is what i really wanted to play, instead of the violin? i was concertmistress of my high school orchestra, made the Youth Symphony and All State orchestras for years...on my own. what if i had private instruction, like every other student in the higher (and many lower) chairs, or a higher quality instrument? OR what if i did not put down my pencil when my little brother said to me one day, long ago, "why do you have to draw? you have everything else, why can't i have this?" the end of an era for me, as i bid farewell to something i enjoyed to make someone else happy. story of my life, apparently.

where would i be right now if my dreams had been nurtured like Zella? would i have chosen music over engineering in college? without a doubt. at that time, though, i just didn't think i had it in me, the 'artistic' stuff. but i realize only now that i simply wasn't nurtured in those areas, the areas that were most important to me. my little brother was always told how talented he was and bragged about, and that is great because he KNEW he was good at his passion (and fortunately, a pencil and paper is cheap). to this day he is held on a pedestal for his talent. meanwhile, i was nurtured for nothing. all i saw was the pride in my parents' eyes when they got to brag about me being an 'A' student, a child who took care of herself, caused no problems, followed the rules, and was on the 'right track.' all my compliments were, and to do this day ARE, based on nothing that means anything to me.

has my whole life been a fake? does anyone really know the real me? do i? is it too late to pursue my dreams, unleash my passions to the world, fulfill my Piscean destiny? where to start?

mission impossible: break the lease

i received a notice from my property manager last week that my condo is being sold, and that a realtor would be contacting me to schedule walkthroughs. um...excuse me...huh?!

i need advice here, people. when i signed my lease, i was under the impression i was simply renting an apartment. not a word was said about the condo being owned by a private party. typically, not a big deal, i get it. BUT, in my case, i would NOT have signed the lease if this information had been disclosed. #1 i know two couples that have been evicted because the owner of their rented condo went into foreclosure. #2 i would not have accepted the risk of the owner selling the condo, in which case potential buyers would be traipsing through my home. with their shoes on...bringing their strange energy into my home, seeing everything i own, potentially leaving the front door unlocked with my thousands of dollars worth of bikeage just sitting there...this bugs the hell out of me.

so tell me, is this grounds for breaking a lease? i feel the leasing office should have disclosed this information. secondly, if this is not grounds for breaking a lease, can i deny the realtor the right to allow potential buyers into my home?

the grand scheme of things

now that my life has 'calmed' a bit, i am now able to focus on my great escape from the world of engineering. i have never been more certain of anything in my life. i want out. even better, my gut wants out. the hours i spend at what is now termed 'the day job' are little more than a research opportunity in how to feng shui the hell out of cubicle space...and a way to make a paycheck. of course. after all, isn't that the reason a majority of us walk through the doors of drudgery on a daily basis?

this being said, i am now working on growing two small businesses that will eventually squeeze out the 'day job.' i find time to work on these part-time endeavors at home either very early in the morning or very late at night. interestingly, despite these odd hours, i have more energy working on my businesses than i do when "fresh" in the morning at my 'day job.' that says something.

even more telling...

#1 i am absolutely stepping out of my comfort zone these days. i am learning about marketing, networking, accounting, and most importantly, human relations (obviously NOT a forte in the world of engineering :). i am having to become brave when it comes to contacting people out of the blue, being direct, and possibly asking for help, or even accepting help while understanding that people really do want to help, which has always been difficult for me. i am making phone calls, not sending emails (that's a big deal for me!). i am setting appointments with people to talk over coffee and presenting information in different ways. i am asking THEM to be open-minded enough to take a look at what i am doing, which is something i am very excited about! and despite being so uncomfortable most of the time, i am having a blast! i am learning so much about myself and other people and believe so much in what i am doing that i keep going, keep pushing myself, keep growing...and i am very excited to see where this leads me.

but...

#2 i have also learned that this "change" in my direction has also changed the way i perceive some of my relationships with family and friends. at a time when i am heading in a totally new direction, when i could absolutely use the support of some key people in my life, some of those people are turning away from me or immediately making incorrect assumptions. even if i am asking for nothing more than an opinion, or advice on how to go about doing something better, or just an ear for 5 minutes (i am working on things to make THEIR life better!), i get the 'what's wrong with what you're doing now?' or the 'why are you doing this?' or the 'anyone could do this, you could do so much more' or, even better, i am ignored. i feel like they don't trust me, and given that, do they really know me? on the other end of the spectrum, i am learning that some people are really stepping up to the plate, so to speak! they are very excited to learn more about what i am doing, offer advice, perhaps even get involved. they support me, and they are simply open to learning something new, worst case! all this is very telling. right now, i need to surround myself with positive people, and i am beginning to learn that a number of people in my life, some i thought were totally on my side, are just kinda negative, close-minded, and don't seem to give a rip about what i am up to. consequently, i am starting to reassess the people i surround myself with...get rid of those "negatrons." boo.