i am placing an offer on a condo today. i have been staring at this one for three months, since i first moved to Phoenix, and the price has continued to drop....which i don't understand. the place is great. the location is great (yes, i checked crime stats). not a single offer. until today!
i will post photos when i get it. :)
31 March 2009
15 March 2009
my 14-year-old therapist
my brother-in-law's 40th birthday party was last night. i am not a fan of big parties, only because i do better in small groups. i also feel big parties lend to the 'small talk' factor...lots of alcohol, small words, even smaller connections with people. however, i jump at any chance to see my family, and it was a good occasion to celebrate, so i went. fortunately.
before the party got going, i was introduced to a bubbly 14-year-old girl named Zella Day. she walked right up to me with a huge smile, introduced herself, and asked if i'd give her a tour of my sister's house. gladly. we chatted a bit, joked about the size of the home and the possibility of getting lost (which has happened!), and checked out her new 'movie star' sunglasses. super sweet girl. and apparently very humble, as i found out later that night she is a budding super star.
that night, her mother was talking to my sister and me about Zella's success (and this was after Zella knocked our socks off with a private performance). interesting story indeed, with the trips to Hollywood, the agents, and Zella's courage in the face of money and power and "machines." no doubt, that girl has talent, confidence, brains, and modesty...the only thing she lacks is fear! but what hit home for me was simply hearing about a young girl following her dream while being supported wholeheartedly by her family. surprisingly, this dug deep, and this one conversation ultimately became therapy for me because i realized that at one stage in my life, i was Zella! i had no fear. i loved to perform for others, act, sing, be creative. i would bust out with a lively rendition of "the sun will come out tomorrow" for anyone, anywhere, on cue! fortunately, i had the opportunity to play the violin for ten years, and i absolutely lost myself in that instrument for hours on end. and yet, all this makes me wonder how far i could have gone had i been provided the support and financial resources. what if my mom had taken me to the audition at The Pantages Theater that day i called her frantically from elementary school after hearing about auditions for a play? would i now be an actress? a stage director? a producer? what if mom had been able to afford to rent the cello, which is what i really wanted to play, instead of the violin? i was concertmistress of my high school orchestra, made the Youth Symphony and All State orchestras for years...on my own. what if i had private instruction, like every other student in the higher (and many lower) chairs, or a higher quality instrument? OR what if i did not put down my pencil when my little brother said to me one day, long ago, "why do you have to draw? you have everything else, why can't i have this?" the end of an era for me, as i bid farewell to something i enjoyed to make someone else happy. story of my life, apparently.
where would i be right now if my dreams had been nurtured like Zella? would i have chosen music over engineering in college? without a doubt. at that time, though, i just didn't think i had it in me, the 'artistic' stuff. but i realize only now that i simply wasn't nurtured in those areas, the areas that were most important to me. my little brother was always told how talented he was and bragged about, and that is great because he KNEW he was good at his passion (and fortunately, a pencil and paper is cheap). to this day he is held on a pedestal for his talent. meanwhile, i was nurtured for nothing. all i saw was the pride in my parents' eyes when they got to brag about me being an 'A' student, a child who took care of herself, caused no problems, followed the rules, and was on the 'right track.' all my compliments were, and to do this day ARE, based on nothing that means anything to me.
has my whole life been a fake? does anyone really know the real me? do i? is it too late to pursue my dreams, unleash my passions to the world, fulfill my Piscean destiny? where to start?
before the party got going, i was introduced to a bubbly 14-year-old girl named Zella Day. she walked right up to me with a huge smile, introduced herself, and asked if i'd give her a tour of my sister's house. gladly. we chatted a bit, joked about the size of the home and the possibility of getting lost (which has happened!), and checked out her new 'movie star' sunglasses. super sweet girl. and apparently very humble, as i found out later that night she is a budding super star.
that night, her mother was talking to my sister and me about Zella's success (and this was after Zella knocked our socks off with a private performance). interesting story indeed, with the trips to Hollywood, the agents, and Zella's courage in the face of money and power and "machines." no doubt, that girl has talent, confidence, brains, and modesty...the only thing she lacks is fear! but what hit home for me was simply hearing about a young girl following her dream while being supported wholeheartedly by her family. surprisingly, this dug deep, and this one conversation ultimately became therapy for me because i realized that at one stage in my life, i was Zella! i had no fear. i loved to perform for others, act, sing, be creative. i would bust out with a lively rendition of "the sun will come out tomorrow" for anyone, anywhere, on cue! fortunately, i had the opportunity to play the violin for ten years, and i absolutely lost myself in that instrument for hours on end. and yet, all this makes me wonder how far i could have gone had i been provided the support and financial resources. what if my mom had taken me to the audition at The Pantages Theater that day i called her frantically from elementary school after hearing about auditions for a play? would i now be an actress? a stage director? a producer? what if mom had been able to afford to rent the cello, which is what i really wanted to play, instead of the violin? i was concertmistress of my high school orchestra, made the Youth Symphony and All State orchestras for years...on my own. what if i had private instruction, like every other student in the higher (and many lower) chairs, or a higher quality instrument? OR what if i did not put down my pencil when my little brother said to me one day, long ago, "why do you have to draw? you have everything else, why can't i have this?" the end of an era for me, as i bid farewell to something i enjoyed to make someone else happy. story of my life, apparently.
where would i be right now if my dreams had been nurtured like Zella? would i have chosen music over engineering in college? without a doubt. at that time, though, i just didn't think i had it in me, the 'artistic' stuff. but i realize only now that i simply wasn't nurtured in those areas, the areas that were most important to me. my little brother was always told how talented he was and bragged about, and that is great because he KNEW he was good at his passion (and fortunately, a pencil and paper is cheap). to this day he is held on a pedestal for his talent. meanwhile, i was nurtured for nothing. all i saw was the pride in my parents' eyes when they got to brag about me being an 'A' student, a child who took care of herself, caused no problems, followed the rules, and was on the 'right track.' all my compliments were, and to do this day ARE, based on nothing that means anything to me.
has my whole life been a fake? does anyone really know the real me? do i? is it too late to pursue my dreams, unleash my passions to the world, fulfill my Piscean destiny? where to start?
04 March 2009
mission impossible: break the lease
i received a notice from my property manager last week that my condo is being sold, and that a realtor would be contacting me to schedule walkthroughs. um...excuse me...huh?!
i need advice here, people. when i signed my lease, i was under the impression i was simply renting an apartment. not a word was said about the condo being owned by a private party. typically, not a big deal, i get it. BUT, in my case, i would NOT have signed the lease if this information had been disclosed. #1 i know two couples that have been evicted because the owner of their rented condo went into foreclosure. #2 i would not have accepted the risk of the owner selling the condo, in which case potential buyers would be traipsing through my home. with their shoes on...bringing their strange energy into my home, seeing everything i own, potentially leaving the front door unlocked with my thousands of dollars worth of bikeage just sitting there...this bugs the hell out of me.
so tell me, is this grounds for breaking a lease? i feel the leasing office should have disclosed this information. secondly, if this is not grounds for breaking a lease, can i deny the realtor the right to allow potential buyers into my home?
i need advice here, people. when i signed my lease, i was under the impression i was simply renting an apartment. not a word was said about the condo being owned by a private party. typically, not a big deal, i get it. BUT, in my case, i would NOT have signed the lease if this information had been disclosed. #1 i know two couples that have been evicted because the owner of their rented condo went into foreclosure. #2 i would not have accepted the risk of the owner selling the condo, in which case potential buyers would be traipsing through my home. with their shoes on...bringing their strange energy into my home, seeing everything i own, potentially leaving the front door unlocked with my thousands of dollars worth of bikeage just sitting there...this bugs the hell out of me.
so tell me, is this grounds for breaking a lease? i feel the leasing office should have disclosed this information. secondly, if this is not grounds for breaking a lease, can i deny the realtor the right to allow potential buyers into my home?
03 March 2009
the grand scheme of things
now that my life has 'calmed' a bit, i am now able to focus on my great escape from the world of engineering. i have never been more certain of anything in my life. i want out. even better, my gut wants out. the hours i spend at what is now termed 'the day job' are little more than a research opportunity in how to feng shui the hell out of cubicle space...and a way to make a paycheck. of course. after all, isn't that the reason a majority of us walk through the doors of drudgery on a daily basis?
this being said, i am now working on growing two small businesses that will eventually squeeze out the 'day job.' i find time to work on these part-time endeavors at home either very early in the morning or very late at night. interestingly, despite these odd hours, i have more energy working on my businesses than i do when "fresh" in the morning at my 'day job.' that says something.
even more telling...
#1 i am absolutely stepping out of my comfort zone these days. i am learning about marketing, networking, accounting, and most importantly, human relations (obviously NOT a forte in the world of engineering :). i am having to become brave when it comes to contacting people out of the blue, being direct, and possibly asking for help, or even accepting help while understanding that people really do want to help, which has always been difficult for me. i am making phone calls, not sending emails (that's a big deal for me!). i am setting appointments with people to talk over coffee and presenting information in different ways. i am asking THEM to be open-minded enough to take a look at what i am doing, which is something i am very excited about! and despite being so uncomfortable most of the time, i am having a blast! i am learning so much about myself and other people and believe so much in what i am doing that i keep going, keep pushing myself, keep growing...and i am very excited to see where this leads me.
but...
#2 i have also learned that this "change" in my direction has also changed the way i perceive some of my relationships with family and friends. at a time when i am heading in a totally new direction, when i could absolutely use the support of some key people in my life, some of those people are turning away from me or immediately making incorrect assumptions. even if i am asking for nothing more than an opinion, or advice on how to go about doing something better, or just an ear for 5 minutes (i am working on things to make THEIR life better!), i get the 'what's wrong with what you're doing now?' or the 'why are you doing this?' or the 'anyone could do this, you could do so much more' or, even better, i am ignored. i feel like they don't trust me, and given that, do they really know me? on the other end of the spectrum, i am learning that some people are really stepping up to the plate, so to speak! they are very excited to learn more about what i am doing, offer advice, perhaps even get involved. they support me, and they are simply open to learning something new, worst case! all this is very telling. right now, i need to surround myself with positive people, and i am beginning to learn that a number of people in my life, some i thought were totally on my side, are just kinda negative, close-minded, and don't seem to give a rip about what i am up to. consequently, i am starting to reassess the people i surround myself with...get rid of those "negatrons." boo.
this being said, i am now working on growing two small businesses that will eventually squeeze out the 'day job.' i find time to work on these part-time endeavors at home either very early in the morning or very late at night. interestingly, despite these odd hours, i have more energy working on my businesses than i do when "fresh" in the morning at my 'day job.' that says something.
even more telling...
#1 i am absolutely stepping out of my comfort zone these days. i am learning about marketing, networking, accounting, and most importantly, human relations (obviously NOT a forte in the world of engineering :). i am having to become brave when it comes to contacting people out of the blue, being direct, and possibly asking for help, or even accepting help while understanding that people really do want to help, which has always been difficult for me. i am making phone calls, not sending emails (that's a big deal for me!). i am setting appointments with people to talk over coffee and presenting information in different ways. i am asking THEM to be open-minded enough to take a look at what i am doing, which is something i am very excited about! and despite being so uncomfortable most of the time, i am having a blast! i am learning so much about myself and other people and believe so much in what i am doing that i keep going, keep pushing myself, keep growing...and i am very excited to see where this leads me.
but...
#2 i have also learned that this "change" in my direction has also changed the way i perceive some of my relationships with family and friends. at a time when i am heading in a totally new direction, when i could absolutely use the support of some key people in my life, some of those people are turning away from me or immediately making incorrect assumptions. even if i am asking for nothing more than an opinion, or advice on how to go about doing something better, or just an ear for 5 minutes (i am working on things to make THEIR life better!), i get the 'what's wrong with what you're doing now?' or the 'why are you doing this?' or the 'anyone could do this, you could do so much more' or, even better, i am ignored. i feel like they don't trust me, and given that, do they really know me? on the other end of the spectrum, i am learning that some people are really stepping up to the plate, so to speak! they are very excited to learn more about what i am doing, offer advice, perhaps even get involved. they support me, and they are simply open to learning something new, worst case! all this is very telling. right now, i need to surround myself with positive people, and i am beginning to learn that a number of people in my life, some i thought were totally on my side, are just kinda negative, close-minded, and don't seem to give a rip about what i am up to. consequently, i am starting to reassess the people i surround myself with...get rid of those "negatrons." boo.
26 February 2009
explosion
the past three months have been, well...trying. they've consisted of moving, transferring offices, catching up on new projects, meeting new people, studying for the leed exam, training for my bike race, family events, family drama, adjusting to a new city/state, a last minute funeral in WA (well, are they ever planned?), launching two small businesses, taxes, planning/paying for my trip to france...and then some...and finally, the actual race, which i already told you about. so, last saturday was my birthday. i went to yoga, then hiked camelback mountain with my family. at the top of the mountain, they put a tiara on my head and presented me with a brownie and candle to blow out. it was cute...until they made me wear the tiara on the way down! :) then they cooked me dinner. exhausting day, but very fun and so appreciated. however, the following day, sunday, was my first day of downtime, literally, in three months. NOTHING TO DO. i had looked forward to that day for a long time. and i got sick. and i've been sick all week. finally, today, i feel better...and then i go to log onto my laptop first thing this morning and it gives me the blue screen of death. it's infested with 130+ viruses. hmm. no doubt, i am being tested.
do you ever get the feeling something big is about to happen? like a major event looming on the horizon is about to shift the course of your life, and you actually expect it? yeah, that feeling! well i have it. and i don't know why. but great patience is being demanded of me at this time.
do you ever get the feeling something big is about to happen? like a major event looming on the horizon is about to shift the course of your life, and you actually expect it? yeah, that feeling! well i have it. and i don't know why. but great patience is being demanded of me at this time.
17 February 2009
the day of pain: mission accomplished
i did it! i finished my first 24-hour mountain bike race, and i feel awesome! although i am still groggy. i can’t catch up on my sleep and i still want to eat like a horse, which i can no longer do, so sad...
the highlights of the race are as follows:
next time i think i’ll do it solo.
the highlights of the race are as follows:
- freezing temperatures and i got stuck with the 3am shift.
- high altitude and dry desert conditions, which means you could not drink enough water which led to dehydration and thereby cramps that ultimately doubled the size of my quads which equals massive PAIN. and that was the first lap…
- having to drink so much water that in the short spans of time you were allowed some shuteye (~3 hours) you ended up waking up every 30 minutes needing to pee your brains out, which necessitated having to get dressed in freezing temps (quickly!) and running to the porta potties which were located on the other side of the expo area, so everyone could see me skipping along desperately with my hand between my legs. certainly amongst my finest moments.
- a flat tire within the first mile of my 3am shift, whereby a tire iron breaks. i also run out of co2 so my tire is not inflated enough and i therefore had to spend a majority of the remaining 17 miles off the saddle to decrease my chances of getting a pinch flat. and this was before i ran into the guy whose headlights, both of them, died. i guided him for a few miles so he could make it to the main road and get moving so he wouldn’t freeze to death. totally killed my time…but you do not mess with karma.
- mini got to experience off-roading for the first time. great! she was filthy and ended up playing a 2-day game of alternating between boom box/soda can coaster/bonfire ash collector/just lay anything you damn well please against my car, people! poor mini. she got washed yesterday and i heard her squeal in delight.
- and guess who was in my category? yeah, my team competed against Dave Wiens’ team. this is the guy who defeated Lance Armstrong in Leadville by something like 16 minutes. needless to say, i am stoked my team got 19/37.
next time i think i’ll do it solo.
03 February 2009
accreditation. FINALLY.
i took the LEED-NC exam this morning and passed! woohoo!!! immediately afterwards i went to my first u.s. green building council meeting as a LEED AP and ate two cookies while learning about soy-based paints and VOC-free adhesives. i felt way cool.
the best part was placing all of my study material on the shelf at work. it is off my desk at home. with the exception of the reference guide, i never want to see that stack of paper again! talk about feng shui'ing my life! completing (and passing) this exam was the ultimate decluttering exercise. :)
AND it's my birthday month! what a way to start...
the best part was placing all of my study material on the shelf at work. it is off my desk at home. with the exception of the reference guide, i never want to see that stack of paper again! talk about feng shui'ing my life! completing (and passing) this exam was the ultimate decluttering exercise. :)
AND it's my birthday month! what a way to start...
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